Okay ladies, I admit it, I have a secret. Before I share it with you, I’m going to ask that you indulge me for a few minutes and not read ahead. Deal?  Thanks!

Without being too critical of the poor photo quality, what do you think of the table and the floral arrangement?  Personally, I like the simplicity of it. Just a bowl of flowers on a small table, catching the light as it comes into the room.  I like the room too.  I like the way the drapes are pulled back to let the sunshine in, the gloss of the hardwood floors, the soft beige color scheme and the detailed molding on the walls and windows. I’d like to think that the rest of the room has the look and feel of my future Hen Den (I wrote about it in a previous post). A day bed, big overstuffed chair with a comfy ottoman; a coffee table covered with my favorite books and magazines; softly scented candles; a thick, plush throw rug, and maybe a pretty chandelier.  The perfect getaway.

So here’s the thing, the picture is of a room in a miniature dollhouse.  Very few people know that I am a miniature enthusiast. Even fewer know that I actually flew half way across the country to buy furnishings and fixtures for the very first dollhouse my husband gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago.

You’re probably saying, “and this matters because?” Well here’s the problem, or the secret. I am 40 something years old and I have no idea what I want to do. My life has changed so much over the past 6 months and now I have the chance, for the first time in my life, to do whatever I want. I’ve never gotten to do what I want.  I fell into my career and although I did very well, it was not something I chose. It kind of chose me.

Now it’s my turn, and here I sit, dumbfounded. I’m bordering on getting depressed.  How can I NOT know what I want to do?  There are so many things I love and I have spent the past few months bouncing back and forth from one thing to another.

Should I throw myself into building and creating beautiful miniature homes which will allow me to design, decorate and even commission out my work?

Should I focus on teaching people how to preserve their memories through digital scrapbooking and storybooking and help them capture all of life’s special moments?

Should I pursue a new career opportunity with a clothing designer by holding trunk shows and spending time helping women dress right and feel beautiful?

Should I explore my love of photography and blog full-time?

Seriously.  This is overwhelming.  I have never been the type of person that believes in doing 2 things at once and giving each just  50/50.  I want to give 100% to whatever it is I decide to do. Only ONE thing can be what “I do”. The rest are the things I simply enjoy.

I’ve kept this a secret because I’m so embarrassed and so annoyed with myself.  You would think that this would be a fairly easy decision, but it’s not. I’m torn between feeling blessed that I can finally do what I want to do and feeling guilty because it all seems so self-indulgent. I’ve actually gone to bed crying because I can’t figure out what to do. I’ve tried the “wait and see and it will come to you” thing for about 3 months now – it isn’t working. I woke-up at 2:30 this morning and laid there thinking about what I’m going to do today? What AM I going to do today? I’m sitting here in my pjs at 11:00 am.  This is NOT good. I’m scared that I am going to just climb back into bed and sleep the day away. I’ve been there and done that so I know this is a warning sign. I need to find something that makes me feel like I am contributing, making a difference, touching someone’s life and right now I feel pretty useless.

Anyway, that’s the big secret. Mrs. Successful, semi-retired business woman and mom extraordinaire is a confused, hot mess.

Until next time,

When I was a little girl in elementary school, one of the things I always looked forward to was the school Book Fair. A week or so before the big day, our  teacher would give us a colorful, newsprint-newsletter, that was filled with pictures of the wonderful books you could buy and a short description of each.

I loved going home, having my snack, and then sitting on the couch and reading about the books. I’ve always loved to read and I remember how hard it was to narrow down my choices to the 4-5 books I knew would be my limit.

The day of the Book Fair was exciting! It was held after dinner and my mom or dad always took me back to school so I could get my books in person. I can still remember the main doors of the school opening and the hallways filled with big, colorful displays of all the books shown in the newsletter. There were always tons of kids running around, parents mingling and teachers joking with their students. There was a feeling of excitement in the halls and the kids were having a good time. The best part was taking my list and searching for all the books my parents said I could get. Inevitably I would find a few more books I just had to have, and my parents were wonderful about indulging me.

As I was driving home yesterday I passed one of the local schools and saw a billboard about a book fair that was being held. I wondered if the book fairs today were anything like the book fairs I loved so much as a kid? I decided to pop in to check it out and I have to say, I’m sorry that I did.

When I entered the school I was surprised to find so few kids at the event. The books that were displayed were laying flat on 3 folding tables, had obviously seen better days, were not for sale, and were for display purposes only. A half-a-dozen bored teenagers were in charge, and they were so busy texting and chit chatting that they paid little attention to the kids or the few adults that were browsing.

What a disappointment. If a child wanted a book, they had to pay for it, order it and then wait 4-6 weeks for it to be delivered to the school. There were no enticements to get the kids excited about reading. No visually appealing presentations that are so attractive to children at this age. No teachers mingling and encouraging the students to read by pointing out books that they might like.

The thing that really topped it off was when I found out the kids could have have any book they wanted immediately, if they ordered it on their Kindle or other e-reader. WHAT? Sure I have a Kindle, but for kids? This was an elementary school!

Don’t our kids spend enough time in front of screens? TV screens, computer screens, little smart phone screens and now e-reader screens? At the very least shouldn’t we make them hold a book in their hands? Turn the pages? Feel the textures? Smell the newness? Learn to care for it? Use a bookmark, or better yet, make one? As it is, many schools don’t even issue text books anymore. Kids sit in front of a computer at school and then go home and get on-line to do homework.

Our kids are getting cheated in so many ways. I know that we live in a technology driven world, but I think schools, teachers and parents have an obligation to expose our children to some of life’s simple things. Things that are not always driven by electronics or technology. Things as simple as a good book and genuine enthusiasm. Things like taking some time to create a fun presentation that is visually appealing to children. Things like encouraging a child to pick up a book, hold it, feel it and maybe even take it home that day.

These aren’t big things – these are little things, but they are important things. These are things that are sadly and slowly falling by the waist side as we rush through life, and become more and more reliant on technology, speed and the ease of taking the path of least resistance. I find this frustrating and sad.

Until next time,

My youngest daughter moved out a few months ago and I think I am finally ready to turn her room into a little “Hen Den”.  My son came up with the name.  He believes that if my husband can have a man cave, mom should have a special place to escape too as well. I don’t think he realizes that when we escape, it’s usually from him and the gang of his friends that invade our family room.

I’m not thrilled with the the name he came up with, but I do have a sense of humor. I can picture a little box of seed hanging right outside the door – the kind you see at the petting zoo? Perfect place for some friends to hang-out for a girls-night-in.  The question is, where in the world do I begin?

Just look at these walls!  Re-painting them means removing her artwork forever; but there is no way I am living with red walls.  I have a softer, vintage, shabby-chic look in mind.

I’ve started to collect photos of things that catch my eye.  Overstuffed chairs, a daybed that has a trundle for out of town guests, a flat screen TV, lots of shelves to display all my stuff, a crystal chandelier and a pretty throw rug.

I might add a round, glass top table with a coordinating fabric skirt, and a small coffee table that I can use to spread out my favorite magazines and books.

The berber carpet has been on the floor since we built the house. It is simply hideous.  I love the feel of thick, plush carpet and I am pretty sure I am going to replace what is there rather than add wood floors.  Assuming that ripping the carpet out is the first place to start, that will be the first thing I tackle this week!

I could really use some help on what to do with the closet?  I don’t need it to store clothes and I am at a complete loss as to what to do with it. So much for creativity…

I am leaning towards soft pinks, whites and greens for the color scheme, with a chair rail going around the center of the room. Billowing curtains, fluffy pillows, yummy scented candles and a big DO NOT DISTURB sign for the door.  Curling up with a hot cup of tea and a good book or a chick-flick sounds heavenly.

If you have any ideas or suggestions for how to transform this  12′ x 12′ room into a beautiful Hen Den, please comment.

Until next time…

I just got back from the most amazing weekend in Asheville where I attended the Once Upon a Dream event. For three days I was surrounded by the most talented and amazing women, all of whom share my love of mixed media art, paper crafting, design and the love of fashion, home and family.

I came home all excited to get creative and guess what? I’ve got nothin’…..Zip. Nada. Zilch. How is it possible that after 3 full days of inspiration, in some of the most beautiful settings imaginable; with women and teachers that left me spell-bound, I can’t come up with one single thing to create or photograph to take?

All day today I felt  anxious, irritable and out of sorts. Not exactly what I expected after the great time I had. I gave it some thought and decided that I would just do the one thing that I know relaxes me – I would color.

So I dug out my watercolor pencils, stamped a piece of card stock and got to work. The thing is it wasn’t work. It was fun. It was relaxing.  It was peaceful and meditative.

I made a cup of hot peach tea, put on some soft music and just colored… There is something about the doodling and repetitive stokes that is both calming and soothing to me. After an hour or so, I found that the healing effects of the tea, combined with the mindless attempt to stay within the lines, had completely gotten rid of the anxiety and crankiness and healed me of whatever my basic problem was.  I would’ve been content with just that but I am happy to say that it jump started my creative juices and I went on to create a couple of pretty good cards.

Creativity comes and goes. It’s nice to know that I can be just as happy coloring and doodling as I can working on a week-long project. I am looking forward to lots of days when the creative juices are just flowing like crazy, but I’m also going to enjoy days like today too; and take this as a lesson not to be so hard on myself.

Until next time,

Last week I met my sister in Illinois to visit our Aunt and Uncle. While we were growing up, they lived way out in the country, in the middle of acres and acres of corn fields, in a beautiful white farm house. One of my favorite places was the old barn.  Even though it was scary at night, I still remember the smell of the hay, gasoline and fresh soil.

The ride out to the house was just beautiful.  Not a cloud in the sky, crisp fall air and long, winding, quiet roads.

When we got to the house, we walked around just remembering all of the fun we had as kids. We were outside from sunrise to sunset. Playing, running, catching fire flies and picking corn.  When I turned to look down the driveway, I saw this man just driving his tractor slowly down the road.  He didn’t seem to be in a rush or have a care in the world.

Sadly, the farm house is for sale as my aunt and uncle are older now and have moved closer to the “city”.  I took a lot of photos and I know this place will always hold a very special place in my heart.  So many memories… Such good times… Good-bye farm house…

Until next time,